Creative Solutions: Trust Your Instincts To Make It Happen for Alienated Parents

You are listening to the Beyond the High Road podcast with Shelby Milford, episode number 145. Stay tuned. Welcome to Beyond the High Road, a podcast dedicated to healing your heart and life following the grief of alienation. I'm your host, Shelby Milford, a twice certified life coach specializing in post-traumatic growth. If you're experiencing the effects of alienation and you're ready to heal, then this show is my love letter to you. Stay tuned. Hey y'all. What's happening? How we doing today? It is the week after the 4th of July y'all. It has been a hectic hectic last I don't know last month really. Um but really last twoish weeks. Um mostly self-inflicted mostly. I mean,

always really it is because it's just our perception of whatever's going on, right? But, um, you know, it started off I don't even know if I mentioned that my mom was in town. She came in town. The last time she was in town was a year ago. That was pretty uneventful. However, I will say that as soon as she left, I thought I was going to play catchup and then I I think the duck happened the next day, you know, and so it's been crazy. And today I told you I think last week that I was going to do an episode based on the duck which of course be brought back. I'll tie that into alienation. And I do have a lesson just some reminders and some just takeaways from my whole experience with

all of this chaos. It happens to be all centered around animals because that's just my world these days. Plants and animals. I guess what I'm saying here is that I won't be necessarily speaking about alienation on the forefront of this episode, but stay with me because there is a message here and I think an important one as it relates to you moving forward with your situation of alienation and with your life like rebuilding your life. So I know that I had just recently talked about doing episodes in a more searchable way. This one came up. It's not necessarily one of the searchable ones that anybody's going to be looking for like I need to solve ABC, but um it's been on my mind.

Hopefully, it'll be useful from you guys. So, there we have it. We're going to get into it. Also, before I start so I don't forget, it's I don't know. It's it would be hard for me to I just want to say a few words real quick. If there are any of you that are in the area or have family that are in the Hill Country of Texas, this week has been awful for the last few days. Anyway, there's been severe flooding um in the Hill Country right around where I lived. In fact, I lived in Briercliff, Texas. It's like Spicewood. That's where the house on the hill was anyway. Otherwise, I was in Austin. But I've already heard just through the great fun and also through friends for in Brier Cliff that there

worsen deaths even in my neighborhood because our house is all surrounded by the lake. So anyway, even more devastating is the the situation around Camp Mystic. That's a little all girls camp. Kids from I think 7 to 17. I don't know if that's the same one that my daughter went to. My daughter went to Christian sleep away camp for some years in a row and I just don't can't recall the name of it but it it's right around that same area. To me it hit home because that's where I lived for the past before here for 14 15 years really and because of those little girls you know well again my little girl is not so little anymore but it's something that she would have been doing around now a

few years ago. Yeah. Anyway, and so my point here is that if you are there in the Hill Country of Texas or you have family or know anybody that has been affected by these floods, my heart goes out to you. Like it'll bring me to tears. I feel so it's such a an emotional and um tragic event that's that's happened there. So, um, just want to say that you you guys are in my thoughts and, um, and if you don't know anything about it, if you're not here in the United States, haven't been hearing about it, then yes, there's been some pretty severe flooding going on in the Hill Country of Texas. So, moving along. For those of you who have heard the last two episodes and are

up to speed, bear with me because I'm going to take like a minute right now and update those listeners who have not heard anything about this duck situation that I'm getting ready to talk about. So, a couple weeks ago, I was returning home from a walk in the morning with the dogs and was almost home literally I was in front of approaching my house but in front of my neighbor's house and this little duckling day old duckling came waddling up to me and my dogs wanted to chase it, right? And so, of course, and the duck went wandering into the street and then went over to the other side. I decided to come home, put the dogs away. I sort of paced for a little while

because I know I don't want to have to I don't have the setup to deal with a duck and I wanted to see basically there are they're whistling ducks. They're blackbellyied whistling ducks and there are a bunch of them around here. So I didn't want to screw with nature, right? But at the same time I was also worried because I happen to have a I call him the feline mafia, a cat who brings home bunnies and squirrels, all the little animals. He has it down to a science. I've tried everything. I've put a bell on him, which I thought it worked for a really long time. But he's found a way around it. He's perfected the art of killing even with the big bell on him. So, um, anyway, that's a whole another

conversation in itself. But I was worried that this poor little duck was going to be a sitting duck. So, I went outside after I dropped the dogs and I found him across in on my street. You know, I have one street, but he was on the other side behind a neighbor's house jumping up and down at her sliding glass door. And I think he was actually looking at his reflection, hoping that that was other beings like him. I don't know, but he was doing it pretty frantic. So, I decided to grab him and bring him back home. Like I said, I was definitely concerned because there's a cat here at this house and then there's a cat there and then there's a cat over there and all of them kind of wander

around. So, I knew also there's these big birds. Anyway, I had temporarily adopted a duck knowing full well I didn't have the the space, the time, the anything to raise a damn duck, right? Plus the fact that I think it's illegal in Florida to bring in a wild bird and then raise it as your own, right? not without getting a license and doing all the things or a permit, whatever. And I don't want a duck, right? But I also didn't want this duck on my watch to get attacked. So, I brought it home. I called all the powers that be, all the, you know, the wildlife people, the the wildlife rescue, the wildlife hospital, humane society, you name it. And I was getting transferred around. Somebody

transferred me to a place still way down south that I knew wasn't going to be able to help me two counties away. Anyway, I got the runaround for a week and a half partially because during that week and a half, I would halfway fall in love with this duck and then be like, well, maybe I could raise it. and knowing full well that I actually didn't want to raise it, but I couldn't help myself because this dog was so damn cute and endearing and funny and sweet and bossy and all the things that I just I I I there were days and times where I would sort of drag my feet on doing what I knew I needed to do right in the end. So anyway, and even if I was didn't matter because nobody was calling me

back, nobody was emailing me back. all the websites I went to and I filled out the contact information, it was for nothing because nobody returned any of my the outreach that I had done. Nobody. And so I was getting really frustrated with the situation because like I said, part of me was like, "This thing is so damn sweet, adorable, and so funny." I mean, I took the funniest little videos. I mean, this duck was just it melt in my heart, you know? But ultimately, I knew that I needed to get it either a back with its mom, which would have been ideal, right, or B with a rehabber that could get Buck the Duck is what I called him, ready to get back in the wild. With each day that I had

him, I got more and more concerned because he grew more and more attached to me. And so that on top of all of the stuff was sort of stressing me out. So, I had like this mixed emotions as far as and and thoughts like desires. I guess underlying though, I really always wanted this dog to have the best life. But I my plan didn't seem to be coming through the way that I really hoped or imagined that it might. Each day was getting just a little bit more and more complicated because this sweet little duck was so dependent on me. He had a set of lungs on him, too. So if I wasn't right with him, he was pissed about it, you know, which was really stressful. And at the same time, I had that other

dog here that wanted to eat said duck. So it was a lot. It was a lot. It was a lot. Well, I started to see these ducks flying over my house, and I always saw them, but I noticed more and more that three ducks would fly from one side of my house and then to the other side and then come back in the evenings and what have you, right? And knowing by the direction they were flying, I had a pretty good idea of where which water source they were going to. It was It's like maybe by the way a bird flies, isn't there a saying for that? Maybe a mile away, right? Driving and walking is a bit different, but maybe a mile away. There's this couple ponds, lakes, if you

will. And so my gut kept telling me that I should go drop the duck off to this one pond. But every time I went there, because when they flew over, it always seemed to be when I was sitting here like with clients and I could see them flying over. But then afterwards, by the time I could get myself together after my clients and get the duck and then take them to the to the pond, the ducks were never there. So, I just kept missing them. And I So, I was juggling a ton because I was still taking all my clients during the day. And then by the time clients were done, it was almost night time. Usually 4:00 in the afternoon, 5:00 in the afternoon, sometimes a little later. And then what?

you know, it was only a few hours until nightfall and then I was going to be leaving this duck at this anyway. It was a whole situation. And the same thing with like when I had the spare time to make the calls for the duck, right? It was a lot actually. It doesn't seem like it's that much. I'll just make a few phone calls and drive over to a pond every so often, but it was not. It was a lot. On top of that, I had a neighbor who I see him. He's pretty abrasive already, but we had I thought a pretty good understanding and were like, you know, hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Pleasantries, you know. But in the afternoons, I would walk the duck around the house and, you know, go feed it and

hang out with it and spend, you know, at least an hour in the morning and in the evenings with the duck each time. And that neighbor saw me two days in a row and was a complete jerk to me. Complete jerk. He was like, "Oh, you're raising birds now. You're raising ducks now, huh?" That was just the snide comment the first time. Then the second day, he got super confrontational with me. And it really bothered me. I noticed that I was also defensive about this because I already felt like I was not receiving the help that I needed to just help me help this duck, you know? You heard my frustration and you've heard any of the the last couple episodes. I was super frustrated about

the fact that I wasn't receiving the help from the people out there that are supposed to rescue these things. I felt like without resources. Anyway, so the second day that this guy decides to open his mouth yapping and making judgments and telling me how not good it was that I was raising wild debts and blah blah blah. Very opinionated as if I didn't already know that stuff, right? But just, you know, of course you get people like in our situations of alienation that want to chime in, judge and put their two cents in about what you're doing wrong, how you're being unreasonable, how crappy of a parent you are, whatever else, right? You feel like to me with that guy walking by, it

reminded me so much of being back fighting for my kiddo and having all of the people, the public opinion, right, of all the other moms and whoever else tell me what I needed to do to raise my daughter. Right. Right. So, it was just it felt very familiar to me and it was really icky. But I know too now afterwards of course I mean I was fuming about this this guy I mean he came at me he's like that's not good and he had just had an ugly look on his face. I was pretty vocal to him and I put my foot down like I I don't take any though most of the time I try to let it roll off my back because people going to do how they going to do you know it's not like I'm going to change him. I knew

that to begin with, but I also basically told him to go himself because I didn't need to hear it, right? He can keep his opinions to himself and he's gonna voice them to me. I just needed to let him know that I wasn't about to hear it, right? But afterwards, after he walked away, I was like that, you know, muttering under my breath. And who does he think he is? How dare he? And he doesn't even know what the hell he's talking about. And I'm trying to actually get somebody to help me to help this duck. And this guy is just talking trash because he's in a bad mood and whatever because he wants to judge, right? You guys know how this goes. I I know for a fact that we've all done with

our situations of alienation, right? With other people wanting to look in thinking that they know the situation and they know how to do it better. That's what was really getting me is this guy thinks he knows what my situation was. He hadn't asked one question to me about what I was doing, what I was waiting on, why the duck was here. I mean, he hadn't asked me one question. He just wanted to. It's so easy to just pass judgment and place blame. He had no clue. And that's exactly what I know that all of us as alienated parents go through so often is we feel so misunderstood or, you know, unheard, what have you. I was really kind of ticked off at this guy for like

the next two days. And then it dawned on me while I was driving that same day that I I was talking about where I was like cussing people out for cutting me off or maybe they weren't even cutting me off. I was just in a bad mood and I wanted to be mad at everybody. I realized while I was driving, I was like, you know, I'm actually making it a problem that he has a problem. like I'm taking his problem on as if it's mine when I could actually just let him have a problem and go about my merry way and not worry about the problems he has because truly his problems aren't my business. And that's when my brain wanted to argue with me. Well, yeah, they're not my business until he makes

it my business and starts wagging his finger at me and and throwing his judgments out. But even still, his judgments are his to have. And I know that's something that I experience and probably many of you, you know, we face a lot of scrutiny and judgment and people making assumptions when they really have no clue, you know, and often times we feel like we're the ones that are responsible for bringing them up to speed, for helping them to understand where we're coming from. But really, most of the time that doesn't do you any good, me any good anyway, because they want to believe whatever they want to believe as it is. It's just a matter of like for me the other day allowing him

to have the problem and me not taking that on his mind. Like people are going to have problems. People are going to place judgment. They're going to make assumptions that aren't correct. They're not going to hear you and they don't want to hear you because the story that they have, which I figured with this guy, is that he was I believe he was upset because he tried to do it. He had mentioned it in his all of his judging comments. He was like, "I tried to do it. I know. Well, I know I tried to do that years ago and it wasn't good and you what you're doing isn't good. It's going to whatever he said. So, I think honestly he was jealous of the fact that I was getting an opportunity to do

something that he never got to finish. Who knows? I don't know whatever. But people have their reasons. They have their stories and they want to fulfill and make up whatever story that matches with an ending that they need to have. Do you know what I'm saying? for whatever's happened in their past. So I realized that if I just let him judge, let him do whatever like misunderstand me, let him be wrong about me, then I could go about and focus on what my objective was, which was to find this duck a proper home. whether that be with a rescue person, right? Somebody to rehab him back into the wild or with his mama, you know, I didn't want to put him I'd already made the decision. I forgot

to say this is last year another duck had walked up to me closer to a busy road and I did what other people had suggested that I do, which was to just go place that duck with any mama duck and babies. But then I read that that's not usually a successful route because duck mama many times will notice that that is not the her duck and she will either abandon them or she will do worse and kill that little duck. So it's not always a great route and for me I didn't want to do that because I was just basically murdering him by proxy and I didn't want to do it. Just I don't know maybe that's the circle of life but I just didn't feel comfortable with it. So, I felt like I was in between a rock

and a hard place. Most of the problem was that I had so much noise going on in my brain. I was paying attention to that shitty ass neighbor and I was paying attention to the fact that I wasn't being paid attention to. I felt such a victim to the fact that I had this chick walked up to me or this duckling walked up to me. There was nothing I could do. Like, I wanted somebody to help me help this duck or somebody to just help this duck, but it wasn't happening. I was so focused on what how I thought it needed to happen that I wasn't able to hear myself and listen to my own intuition about what I knew might be best stuck right once I let go of the the idea that

other people needed to help me that I needed to have humane society wildlife rescue wildlife rehabers whoever come and get the duck for me because that's in my mind I was hyperfocused on that. I couldn't see the forest for the trees because I thought it was supposed to happen certain way, you know. Um, and then I was focused on this guy judging me and then I was worried about like my HOA because of this guy and I had all this noise going on in my brain, right? But when I let that go and I realized that I am making his problem about me my problem and I don't need to do that. I was creating so much more drama in my life by allowing his drama in which I know that we all do so often and it can

feel so like 911 emergency, right? When people make an incorrect judgment about you or me, right? They they misunderstand us, misread the situation and think that we're doing one thing when we're doing another when it comes to our children, right? It can feel so dramatic and like dire to straighten that out because if I don't straighten that out and they think this of me, then that's going to affect this and this and this and this and then my relationship with my kid is going to be over because whatever, right? This is how we do with all the things until we just let go of the noise. Let them do what they're going to do. Let them judge, misunderstand. Because

most of the time, nine times out of 10, unless it's somebody that loves you, you love them and you you value the relationship, most of the time, letting them place the judgment, say the things, whatever, is going to help you to refocus back on your objective so that you can really start to hear yourself think. You know, I used to play pool like when I would go out to the bars. the times when I was really good, it's when I was trusting my own instincts. But the second that I started to listen to somebody else tell me how to make a shot. From that point on, forget it, the rest of the game, I could not find my own incompass. Then I was always looking to other people to see how they were

reacting by the shot that I was getting ready to make. Like maybe it's not a good one because somebody had a doubtful face. This is just a distraction. But when I didn't care what everybody else thought and I fully knew that I could get the ball in the pocket, then I almost always had no problem making it. It's when we think that we need all the other people to help us, think for us, do for us, tell us we're doing it right, affirm in some way, shape, or form, that's usually when we get off of our game. So once I drowned out all the noise, stopped caring about or wanting to hear back from rehab wildlife people and the humane society and once I realized that I needed to do this on my

own, each day I would try a different route and we it would it had been raining like every day here for a while and so it was actually a good time for ducks to be out and what have you. And I had just come home from walking the dogs in the evening one time and I heard the whistling and dust. And so I always have this doggy stroller that has this little compartment, little netted compartment in the bottom. It's perfect. It's got a little platform for the dog to sit in. So I popped him in the bottom of the stroller, left the dogs here, and hauled ass down the road and around to this other block where I know that sometimes those whistles ducks are sitting up in

the trees. And I played mama duck sounds from YouTube. My phone was about to die. I didn't care. So loud. And then I played baby duck sounds so that these ducks would hear. And I let the duck out with me and he waddled. And anyway, we didn't find the ducks that day. I could swear I knew I'd heard some ducks. But anyway, on the way home, I let him just run in between my legs and following the stroller. I have a video of it and it's so freaking funny. I maybe I'll pop it in the corner like I did with the other one. It's so funny because this duck started to it thought the stroller and me were the same. It was all mama. And so she would run under the stroller like

hauled ass would run under the stroller. He did the whole It was basically like three blocks home. Come here. He at this tiny little thing. So freaking cute. So that was one day. That was the first day of me taking it on my own. I was like, "Nothing is getting my way. I'm gonna figure out a way to find this duck's mom. I'm gonna figure it out. There's got to be a way. Ducks have got to be like any other mama. And they probably know when their babies are missing. And they Oh, I had read that um baby ducks can tell their mama's call. Even though whistle ducks all sound the same to me, they can tell their mama's call from the time they're in the egg. They know the individual sound. So, I

figured that maybe mama would also know. At least she would hear. Anyway, so that was day one of me doing it on my own and I was like, "All right, I can do this again tomorrow and I'll do it again and I'll do it again. I'll try different things." And so the next day I was um here at the house and I was repotting some plants and I had him outside with me. There was a had been a ton of rain so he could swim in one of the puddles outside because I have this like little ditch and so he went swimming. I was repotting plants. It was a lot of fun. And then I thought I had to go inside real quick. And he didn't know that I left. And so when I came inside, I could see from the kitchen window. And I

thought, you know, I bet if I can leave him and he stays where he is right now, then maybe I can take this a step further. So I did. I left him outside for like 20 minutes. He stayed exactly in the same spot and peeped it out a little bit and then went out and got him. Brought him back in. And then later on that same day, I decided, all right, I'm going to do it. So, I put him in the car with me and I took him to the water source, the lake that I thought that I saw the birds flying to. Now, there were no ducks, but every time I'd driven there before, there were also no ducks because it always I was off on the timing, right? Because of my clients. So, I put him down and I ran like hell.

And let me tell you, I felt so bad because this duck was peeping at me and, you know, yelling at me to come back, come back. And my heart was breaking cuz I knew that this duck was like, "Where are you?" It just was awful for me. But anyway, I went closer to where he couldn't see me. And I started playing baby duck sounds again really loud from YouTube. Nobody came and I convinced myself, "All right, you're going to leave for an hour and you're going to come back after to make sure that the duck is okay." I didn't see any problems. There was a couple turtles sunning themselves like right where I put them and a little ibis and whatever. So I was like, "It's fine. There's no

gators here. There's whatever." So I left. It took everything in me, you guys, everything in me to leave. But I was like, "Something's got to happen. And if I'm around, maybe the mama ducks aren't going to come, you know?" And so I left. And when you guys I got home maybe 5 minutes later, because it's not that far of a drive, right? I saw three ducks flying over my house and I watched them fly that direction. There's nowhere else they could could have gone right in my mind. So I was like, "Holy somehow these ducks know whether they heard I can't imagine cuz it's barred away, you know, but I don't know if there's like a network where the birds talk, but those birds were flying right

back over." So I left it alone and the next morning I went back and I saw one duck and one baby duck sitting at the at that lake. I know that that had to have been the mama and the baby. So I guess my moral of the story here is that well first off nature is amazing and they are pretty badass. Like how that duck knew like I was like does the duck have surveillance on my house? But how that duck knew to go to that lake or like whatever could they smell? I have no clue what happened. But I just decided to trust my own instincts and stop relying on the the people that I was convinced that I needed the help from and I decided to do it my way and it worked. You know, whenever we're

getting ready to go do something, whatever it is, whether it's you're getting ready to complete a goal, maybe it's to go back to court for your kid, whenever you're stepping outside of the box to grow, there are going to be people that judge, that heckle you, that torment you, people are going to misunderstand. They're going to maybe slander and and say things um that really do actually hurt. It's going to happen when you go to do something big and different in your life. You're always going to feel resistance, you know? So, expecting that and pushing through and not making their problem your problem is number one, like I was doing with that guy. Also, two, the way

that you think that you're going to get there isn't always the way that's going to work. You know, the help that you believe that you need, especially when you're feeling a victim to the situation, the understanding that you think that you need, you're probably not going to have. And that is okay. If you can remove the distractions and the limitations you put on yourself and trust the reason why, your why, like I've been talking about in the last few episodes, trust your why and your vision, and keep going ahead knowing that the friction is there for your good. It's required for you to push through some of that in order for you to get to where you want to go.

That's when you will start to feel the success. I think you know people always talk about the you know take the path of least resistance and I'm not saying that that's wrong but I also think that friction is there to sharpen us. It's there for a reason, right? It's sort of I hate to say a test, but it kind of is like anytime that we face these hurdles, these challenges while on the way to getting somewhere to achieving whatever it is that we want or like I said, court with your kid, making a new life for yourself, following alienation, getting a new job, whatever it is, you're always going to run into problems, right? and you stopping at where the the stop sign

is and saying, "No, I guess I'll just turn back right now. It's not working for me and maybe this just isn't meant to be right." That's how I used to think. Well, maybe I'm just trying to push through something that's not meant to happen right now. There are times when that is applicable and it might work for you to not try to plow through something that maybe you're not ready to do yet. But otherwise, just know that you're meant to face the resistance. It always seems to be that the second that we go out to do something big is the second that all the hits the fan. Just expect it. It's okay. It's meant to be there for you. It's just that sometimes we think that we're entitled

to an easy road after all the heartache and the trauma, drama, all the things that we've been through. It's like, why can't things be easy now? They're not meant to be easy. But that doesn't mean that you don't go for it anyway. What if it's all just your curriculum? What if it's all just there to make you that much more badass in the end, you know? So, yeah, I guess that's it. Don't let other people take you off your game. Like, you can set a goal and you can have an idea about how you're going to get there, but sometimes those ideas about how you're going to get there are what are holding you back. Like you could still get there, but maybe you have to erase all of that out of your

mind. Kind of like I did with this duck situation. I was expecting and thought that I was entitled to help from these organizations that are out there actually for this sole reason of helping wildlife like this, you know, this kind of situation. But that's clearly not how I was going to get help this time. So me focusing, hyperfocusing on the fact that they weren't helping me was creating a whole extra problem on top of the problem I already had. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I had the problem of having this duck that I needed in my mind I needed somebody to help me to rescue or get back to his mom. So that was the main problem, but then I had a problem with the fact that the these

people were not helping me. So then all of my attention was going to these people not helping me, taking me off my game of trying to get this duck a home. Do you know what I'm saying? And I did this over and over and over again ad nauseium out of when it came to my situation of alienation. How many times did I say, "Well, lawyers should be doing lawyer stuff that he should be filing these motions. He should be doing this. He should be doing that." And they're not doing it. Not to say that that isn't a problem, but also what that did is take me in circles, right, of just focusing on the ways that people were bringing me down as opposed to me finding ways to bring the whole

situation up. You can get very easily distracted by thinking about how everything has gone wrong. Where are we going to go from here? And I know you've heard me say this a million times over. This is just another way for me to say it. So things may not be working out the way that you want them to, but that doesn't mean that you need to give up your goals. In fact, I think that that's even more reason to for you to get resourceful and figure out how you're going to do it on your own, not needing all the other people to help or fall in line or whatever. You know, I I know also like I this is just reminding me of like the money episode, the more most recent money episode I did with you guys

where we we think that we need the assistance, the financial assistance because we are the odds are against us and the other people have all the money and we don't and I think that that's going to waste your time. The help is out there for you, but if you're only focused on how people aren't out there to help you, then what what about your goal? you know, focus on that. How can I get here? Where I wanted to go, where I originally wanted to go. What else can I do? You know, you it is about thinking outside of the box and really trusting your own self and your own abilities to create whatever it is that you want to create because you can. If you can get through alienation, you can, you've

heard me say this, too. If you can get through alienation, you are superhuman. You can do so much more than you might be giving yourself credit for. So, don't let other people take you off your course. Trust in your own abilities to get the job done because you can. And other people aren't always going to believe in you. Don't let them tell you what you're capable of. My parents, both of them to this day, I mean, maybe more a little bit now, but like they I I've learned a long time ago, and I'm still I still have to remind myself too, that they're not going to believe in me. That's just probably what they got from their parents, right? My mom is more just kind

of disinterested and my my dad, too. Anyway, it doesn't matter. But the point is is that they're not going to I have to believe in me. I have to do it. I have to be the one that that keeps renewing my own belief in myself and develops the tenacity and the focus. That's a big one for me. And the drive and all the things to keep going so that I can do it. And then once I get there, maybe they might believe in me, but maybe not. It's not about them. You know, for you, same thing. Don't make it about everybody else and what they're doing or not doing. Just keep an open line of communication with yourself so that you can drown out the noise of all the other distractions because they will

be there. They will be there. And just when you think that you're on a roll, somebody will come and say something or distract you in some way and take you off your game again, try to take you off your game again. Maybe that's not the individual person's in intent, but that's basically what that test is there for, if you will. You know, that challenge is there for too sharpening you in those moments. Stay on your game. Okay. So, that's how you take your power back. And I was not doing it last week, you know, when I was thinking that all these people are supposed to be helpful and they're that's what they're there for. and they weren't doing anything and they were intentionally not calling me

back after sending pictures and texts and doing all the things. That's what was supposed to happen so that I could figure out a way to find this this little duckling smile. You know, I didn't need their help anyway, nor did that little duckling. We did it all by ourselves. Not to say that help isn't great because it sure is. But most of the time, you whatever challenge that you are faced with, you will be able to figure it out. Okay? you will be able to find the resources. So, all right you guys, that's all I have for you. Y'all have a lovely, lovely, lovely week, and I'll see you next week. Okay. Thanks so much for listening today. If you like what you're hearing and you'd

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