Is it possible to create a fulfilling life while experiencing the grief of alienation?

 

My own personal hell

If you were to tip me off about what was to come, I wouldn't have believed you.  After we split, life got more and more bizarre. It began with (what seemed to be) trivial disagreements and odd behavior at exchanges.  Three years in, I found myself sitting in jail cells (not once, but four separate times). This was no joke.  

 

During all the turmoil, I gradually retreated from my everyday life. I developed a reliance on alcohol, as it was the only thing I found that could effectively numb the continuous churning I felt inside. 

The chronic stress caused prolonged physical effects including neuropathy, vascular issues, low RBC count (anemia), chronic fatigue, hyperarousal, and other symptoms of CTSD (Continuous Traumatic Stress Disorder).  

After the last custody hearing, I dropped into a clinical depression, which, of course, only worsened my outlook and overall situation. Each morning, before I could open my eyes, I felt the overwhelm of impending doom and shame wash over me. 

I felt 100% STUCK.

Then, one day, while sitting on my therapist's couch... 

I made a pact with myself: if I got thru that hell alive, I would do everything I could to help other parents to not feel like I did: 

Isolated. Dark.  Furious.  Shameful. Ugly. Regretful.  Unworthy. Helpless. Confused. Victimized. Betrayed.

Eventually, I mustered up the courage and money¬†to go back to school. I let go of my habit to drink.¬†I invested the next three years doing research and getting certified as a coach (I became obsessed after hearing the term ‚Äúpost-traumatic growth‚ÄĚ). I went to every seminar and read every book I could find. ¬†Therapy and education had taken me that far, but I wanted more. ¬†I needed to figure out how to move forward. ¬†¬†¬†

With the help of my own coach, I developed a framework for my new mindset with regard to my circumstance of alienation.   

I learned about me.  I developed a deep & unconditional love for myself, based on compassion, desire to understand, and discovering my unfaltering worthiness.

Now, almost 4 years later, I’ve moved back to my home state, have my own coaching practice, and host a podcast that I love, where I share the mindset tips and tools that I used to heal my own life.

Through my continued work, most days I feel empowered, purposeful, and at peace.  

In the mornings, I wake up feeling excited about the day in front of me.  

Most importantly, I look to myself and my own efforts to define my relationship with my daughter.  I know that our bond transcends any and all circumstances/occurrences.

I've made it my purpose to help other alienated parents to do the same.  

Don't Know What To Say When They Ask About Your Kids? 

You know what I'm talking about… that moment when you feel like you're gonna puke because Busybody Barb just inquired about why she never sees you at school functions anymore?  Watch this short video, and never feel the need to run in the opposite direction again!

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