46. "I Should Be Further Along Than This," said nearly every alienated parent

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Shelby Milford Thoughts of Overwhelm

Here in the US (among many other countries), back to school is gearing up; and as parents experiencing alienation, this time of year can serve as one gigantic reminder that we won't be seeing our children off to their first day in their new grade (or moving them into their new dorm room). No first day photos, no Meet the Teacher night...

"Challenging" can be an understatement.

But on top of that, many of us sit in judgement of ourselves about how far along we aren't. We think we should be thru it by now... and as a result of resisting, arguing, and avoiding where we are, we create a great deal of unnecessary suffering for ourselves.

Over the last week, I've read Facebook posts that proclaim: "I should be further along in my healing.".

Brand new clients will say: "I just need to close up these wounds so I can begin doing the work to better myself".

They'll casually comment: "God, life will be great when I stop feeling like this."

Desperation and urgency in their voices, they'll ask: "When will this suffering stop, so I can just start living my life again?"

It's human nature to resist discomfort. It actually goes against our hard wiring. The Motivational Triad: Seek pleasure, Avoid pain, Be efficient. Our system is set up for survival. To seek out all of the feel good things, and avoid all else like the plague -- literally. It thinks: pain = death. But it's wrong. This is an antiquated setup. We do not need to resist emotional pain -- In fact, what got us (the human race) here is actually killing us. In today's world, we need to MOVE TOWARD IT.


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